So there I am on my high horse thinking I am just the cat's meow for saving these poor hounds and I suddenly realize that I haven't a clue what is going on here. I am just another passenger on this train of life and if I don't open my eyes, smell the breeze and listen to the sounds, then I am just going to stay sitting on the train while the world whizzes by me. I hate this treadmill that I am on and the hounds have given me the grand excuse to step off of it for a little time each day and just enjoy. And really, it HAS to happen everyday unless I want to be cleaning up some real nasties around the house.
This also presents another prime opportunity to me now that my metabolism has ground to a halt. Exercise. I have this thing about exercise. I cannot do it indoors - not when there is a couch at hand, a TV and a fridge full of food. Exercise for me must be survival based. It is best with a black bear hot on your heels, or dangling from a tree limb. Fear is a great catalyst for burning calories. So the hounds need to go out every morning,and it is dangerous walking them....mmm, this might work. I begin to post on Facebook my daily experiences with the beagles.
And they seem to have a lot to tell me if only I will listen....
"This morning Austin and Daisy, my personal trainers (a.k.a. the beagles), added stretches to our morning exercises. Unfortunately Daisy, while demonstrating the improper way to stretch, pulled a thigh muscle. We had to cut short the session this morning but Daisy feels we will be back on track tomorrow. Austin doesn't know what to think....about anything!"
"Training session today went much better. We were very smooth on the stretches and gradually worked up to a more brisk pace. The only confusing part was the dietary discussion at the end. Daisy insisted I should be eating as much as I could of EVERYTHING and I don't even want to tell you what Austin said I should eat."
"The personal trainers and I really celebrated this morning. In my quest for a trimmer body, I have shed 3 lbs. Daisy has gained 1 lb toward her ongoing ambition for a full figure and Austin found one of his old bones."
"My personal trainers have informed me this morning that the path to health must be a whole health approach. It must encompass the mind, body and soul. With that in mind, Austin became rather philosophical this morning while we were discussing the concept of not judging a book by its cover. Austin tells me that if something smells like it is bad, don't necessarily believe it. Get down and rub in it. It is best to get onto your back and then use your heels to push your whole body up and down through the smell. Don't forget to rub it on either side of your face and get a bit in your ears if you can. Then sidle on over and stand next to someone. If they run off screaming - yup it's BAD."
"A new member joined our whole health group this morning. His name is Monty. His body objective is full figure so Daisy has agreed to take on his training plan. He just observed our circle time this morning to get the idea of how everything works. We told Monty we look forward to hearing his thoughts tomorrow. Monty wanted to know what a 'thought' was. He should fit in just fine."
"Bit of excitment in the group this morning when we encountered wildlife. Much to our surprise, Austin rolled Daisy toward the coyotes and took off in the other direction. Back at circle time, we pointed out to Austin that as hard as we look, we cannot find any I's in the word 'team'. After checking his spelling a couple of times, Austin eagerly informed us that he had found 2 i's in 'survival of the fittest'."
"I asked the group this morning "why bother?" The discussion degenerated into their usual bickering over who was happiest. I reminded them to answer the question. They tell me they have." (in Memory of Copper)
"The group is still trying to decide whether our experiment with diversity was a success or failure this morning. We got along just fine with Rose during the walk portion. As the pace picked up to a slow jog, all was going well. When we broke into a run, Austin and Daisy's issues with short term memory surfaced and the chase was on. During the mayhem that ensued Monty and I both agree that the Flying B**chslap as executed by Rose was technically perfect. We even gave her top scores for artistic expression."
"Based on yesterday's events, Rose has informed us that she will only join us for circle from now on. She has offered to be our spiritual advisor. I am good with that as I always enjoyed a cat's perspective. Daisy wants to know if she will bring food platters. Monty keeps working on that first thought. Still smarting, Austin has expressed some concern. He asks Rose if she will clean up her potty mouth. Wow what form! Monty and I both give Rose a '10' again."
"We accepted a new applicant into the group this morning called Stella. She is only interested in the exercise portion as she does not feel she could sit still long enough for circle. We felt this nicely balanced Rose's involvement. Upon observing Stella's hair and energetic enthusiasm. we are sure of a genetic connection to Richard Simmons. As she extolled us to bounce higher and leap farther during the exercise portion, the group began to get a little concerned. Daisy is apoplectic."
And this is the truth as shown to me. Another truth I am slowly coming to understand is that perhaps I am the one being rescued.
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