Feeding Frenzy

I seem to eat these days as though any minute there will be a world wide food shortage....especially in the chips and dip department. I never used to be like that. I would often ignore the mundane tasks in life such as eating, sleeping and cleaning the house in favour of getting out there in the world and doing the fun stuff. The sleeping and cleaning house tasks continue to be ignored but somehow eating has escalated to a frenzy. I blame it on the teenage boys!
I can be competitive so when these teenagers run at the fridge like it is the last refrigerator in the whole wide world, I get drawn into the competition. Shoving, swearing and spitting on the coveted food so that no one else will dare to eat it seems to be fair play in this frantic competition. So while I tussle with my sons over food that I don't even like and then threaten to either ground them for life or post that nude baby photo of them on Facebook if they so much as look at my mint chocolate cookies, I have this vague recollection of being a reasonable adult.
My whole health group is trying to help me see the light. Monty parodies my antics each morning by knocking over the members of the team like bowling pins in a frantic attempt to get to his food first. As I watch him scarf down his food, vomit it back up and then eat it again, I feel a deep gratitude for his efforts to show me the error of my ways.  Under Monty's tutelage,  I am slowly disengaging myself from the revelry of teenage boy-dom just in time for those teenage girls who think a celery stick is supper. Strutting by with her tail in the air and full of pride in her ample figure, Daisy tells me, "Out of the way, I got this one."