To Austin With Love
The Whole Health Group began with two beagles. They represented new beginnings and a way to find my way in life again. I knew I had come to the end of my road and it was time for change but you see it is finding the courage to change that is key in the process. I found that courage in a skinny little beagle called Austin. A beagle that had been severely abused throughout the first nine years of his life resulting in a major anxiety order for him. Despite his anxiety, Austin was always willing and ready to face the unknown. He would shiver and shake and worry...and then explode in a fervor of furry enthusiasm toward that 'thing' that had made him worry in the first place. He was very worried when we loaded him into the back of the truck with his fellow Group members in the middle of a Canadian winter to drive across Canada but he faced that journey with his same verve of worry, worry, worry then "let's do this!" Austin loved it in the west. We built him a huge yard in the forest and I mean huge. It goes down a hill and into a ravine and best of all it is full of bunnies to be chased by beagles. It took us months to pound the fence posts through soil and tree roots but when it was all said and done, it was beagle heaven. Austin could play out there in the forest and root through the bushes in search of his beloved bunnies without anyone pulling on a leash or reminding him that he was constrained in any way....and then when those coyotes tried to lure him away a mesh fence would eventually halt his silly pursuit. While the beagles' first nine years were full of pain and hate, I wanted to make sure that their remaining years were full of adventure and love. I think we did that.
A couple of months ago we noticed that Austin's fur was no longer shiny and healthy and that he was starting to lose muscle mass. A trip to the vet's confirmed a large tumour in his stomache. We brought him home determined to make him comfortable and happy for as long as possible and then to be brave enough to help him leave when it was time. True to Austin's nature and despite his worry, he displayed his own courage yesterday. It was the first day that we had noticed any discomfort at all with Austin. We watched him carefully and I decided that if he was still uncomfortable the next day (Monday) that I would take him to the vet's for pain medication and to determine next steps. Austin headed into our bathroom where he was always assured of a warm comfy bed among the many towels on the floor (we have 3 teenagers!) and he curled up in a ball and he left us. It was simple. It was elegant and it was brave.
When the beagles moved into my life and I began to document our journey through Martha's Tails, I had no idea where the journey would lead us. It led to the Whole Health Group. It led to more time outside walking and thinking with beagles in hand. It led to a greater understanding of my place in the world most especially through the eyes of a beagle. It led to rediscovering the beauty of words and writing as I tried to tell their stories. It gave me the courage to say good-bye to a much loved home and community in order to follow our family's dream in the west.
And now I need to find the courage to say good-bye to Austin, to hold his memory dear, and to always remember to face the unknown with great enthusiasm along with the odd bark and growl when necessary.
A couple of months ago we noticed that Austin's fur was no longer shiny and healthy and that he was starting to lose muscle mass. A trip to the vet's confirmed a large tumour in his stomache. We brought him home determined to make him comfortable and happy for as long as possible and then to be brave enough to help him leave when it was time. True to Austin's nature and despite his worry, he displayed his own courage yesterday. It was the first day that we had noticed any discomfort at all with Austin. We watched him carefully and I decided that if he was still uncomfortable the next day (Monday) that I would take him to the vet's for pain medication and to determine next steps. Austin headed into our bathroom where he was always assured of a warm comfy bed among the many towels on the floor (we have 3 teenagers!) and he curled up in a ball and he left us. It was simple. It was elegant and it was brave.
When the beagles moved into my life and I began to document our journey through Martha's Tails, I had no idea where the journey would lead us. It led to the Whole Health Group. It led to more time outside walking and thinking with beagles in hand. It led to a greater understanding of my place in the world most especially through the eyes of a beagle. It led to rediscovering the beauty of words and writing as I tried to tell their stories. It gave me the courage to say good-bye to a much loved home and community in order to follow our family's dream in the west.
And now I need to find the courage to say good-bye to Austin, to hold his memory dear, and to always remember to face the unknown with great enthusiasm along with the odd bark and growl when necessary.
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