The 87% Chickens

'What the heck are those?!?' asks Charlotte
'They are chickens' I tell Charlotte.  She is not believing me.  Not one little bit.
In an effort to find friends for Charlotte I was actually on a waitlist for little brown layer hens just like Charlotte.  I was told that the wait could be up to 6 weeks.  6 long lonely weeks for Charlotte who has taken to chasing an apple tied to string in the coop like she is caught up in an eternal Halloween. So this morning when a local Hutterite Colony posted that they have layer hens available because they are only laying at 87%, I viewed it as an timely opportunity.  In my world when I get 87% rating on anything, I am a flipping superstar.  In my world an 87% chicken must be pretty darn awesome.  In the Hutterite world when a laying chicken drops below 90% laying capacity...she is stew.
Hutterites operate massive factory farms out here.  They have some similarities to the Mennonites from back home in how they look, dress and talk (German is their first language) but beyond that they embrace electricity and large machinery wholeheartedly.  They have huge barns that mass produce milk, meat and eggs for the large supermarkets.  I have never been into a large factory laying barn.  It was an eye opener.  There are 9 chickens to a cage with only enough room for them to stand.  In boredom, stress or whatever, they pick at each other and themselves...and they lay eggs.  And as long as they are producing at 90% or better, they get to stay in those cages and lay eggs.  When the production falls below 90% they become part of the annual cull.  That cull includes the colony putting out a posting to the community so that if anyone is looking for laying hens they can come and get them...for $2 a bird.  Otherwise the cull means they become packaged meat.  Not knowing any of this, I called them up and said, 'I will take 5 please' and I loaded the dog kennel into the back of the pickup truck and tooted on down the road to get my 87% chickens.  When I got there I was confronted with the overwhelming reality of a factory laying barn.  I was also confronted with the mass butchering that was happening right outside the barn.  As one of the Hutterite men walked out of the barn with two hands full of chickens dangling upside down and headed for the chopping block I said, 'I will take those please'.  It was more than 5 for sure.  I actually did not get a count until I got home and put them in the coop.  It is 14 rather miserable looking chickens with sores and missing feathers.  They remain rather stunned probably not fully believing their narrow escape.  They are also not sure how to do the 'chicken thing'.  Most of them are having trouble walking because the talons on their feet are grossly overgrown from cage life.  The coop is way too big for their world right now!
So Charlotte, you want to know what these are?  These are 87% chickens and they are pretty darn awesome.  Now as the chief hen of the coop you need to teach them everything that you know so that they can figure out how to be a chicken...everything that is but the egg eating part please.