Life in the Rearview Mirror
I know they tell us not to live life looking in the rear view mirror because we are not going that way...but I have decided that I need a rear view mirror on my riding lawn mower if I value my life...
Today while cutting the trails in the woods I began to notice a rather odd occurrence. It took me longer than it should have despite my hyper attentiveness on my riding lawn mower. I did not always used to be so aware on the lawn mower. In the olden days I used to welcome my time on the riding lawn mower as a mini retreat from life's demands. I would daydream and sing songs as I went round and round the lawn secure in the knowledge that it was just me out there making patterns. Nowadays time on the lawn mower usually means Linda Blair antics as I check out my surroundings in a constant 180 degree swivel. Being charged by a moose while bouncing along on the mower will do that to a person. I consider myself a very alert lawn mower operator these days.
But today it took me longer than it should have to notice that I was being followed by a moose as I cut the trails. I did notice the fresh moose tracks which are quite common so I was not terribly alarmed initially. Then I started to notice that they were on almost every trail I cut. They seemed to be heading my way and then to hop off the trail shortly before I arrived at that juncture. Then I started to notice more details. You see when I cut the trails I need to take two passes over the trail because they are wider than the cutting width of the deck on my mower. So I drive the trail in one direction until I come to a junction or end point and then I turn the mower around and drive back in the other direction to finish cutting the other side of the trail. What I started to notice was that there were not any fresh moose tracks on the trail when I made my first pass but upon returning along the trail from the other direction suddenly there were fresh moose tracks walking toward me as I made my return pass along the same trail. My head swivelling increased in frequency despite my physical limitations. I decided that I need to install a rearview mirror on my riding lawn mower because I am no Linda Blair. The fresh moose prints and odd stick snapping in the woods continued throughout the day putting my nerves on edge. But the best was yet to come...
As supper hour approached I was clearing fallen trees from my last trail. It was a tricky situation to chainsaw as there were three leaners each resting upon each other. I fired up the chainsaw and got to work. Half way through the second tree I suddenly smelled a very strong poo smell. With the chainsaw idling so I could leap into action with it if needed, I scanned the woods all around me half expecting to see a bear. Bears stink! You can usually smell them coming. I couldn't see anything anywhere and the poo smell seemed to be wafting away so I threw that chainsaw into action again and finished cutting up the trees. With that done I loaded the chainsaw into my wagon and carried on with the lawn mower cutting my first pass on that trail. Coming to the end of the trail I circled around and started on my return trip along the trail. I had not gone far when I came upon the fresh moose tracks again and they were walking toward me again and then in the midst of the tracks there was a big pile of steaming fresh moose poo.
I have decided that the moose must have been standing close by as I cut up the last of the downed trees and that the moose must have let out an enormous fart in my general direction at that time. Then it proceeded to follow me along the trail when I left on the riding lawn mower and its fart progressed into something even bigger which it deposited on the trail as I came back on my return trip.
I will confess that it is a little off putting to be followed by a moose as I clear the trails. If only I had a rearview mirror then I would be able to see what is behind me as I cut the trails. Then again if I were to look into a rearview mirror to see a moose staring back at me, I would most definitely do more than just fart....
Today while cutting the trails in the woods I began to notice a rather odd occurrence. It took me longer than it should have despite my hyper attentiveness on my riding lawn mower. I did not always used to be so aware on the lawn mower. In the olden days I used to welcome my time on the riding lawn mower as a mini retreat from life's demands. I would daydream and sing songs as I went round and round the lawn secure in the knowledge that it was just me out there making patterns. Nowadays time on the lawn mower usually means Linda Blair antics as I check out my surroundings in a constant 180 degree swivel. Being charged by a moose while bouncing along on the mower will do that to a person. I consider myself a very alert lawn mower operator these days.
But today it took me longer than it should have to notice that I was being followed by a moose as I cut the trails. I did notice the fresh moose tracks which are quite common so I was not terribly alarmed initially. Then I started to notice that they were on almost every trail I cut. They seemed to be heading my way and then to hop off the trail shortly before I arrived at that juncture. Then I started to notice more details. You see when I cut the trails I need to take two passes over the trail because they are wider than the cutting width of the deck on my mower. So I drive the trail in one direction until I come to a junction or end point and then I turn the mower around and drive back in the other direction to finish cutting the other side of the trail. What I started to notice was that there were not any fresh moose tracks on the trail when I made my first pass but upon returning along the trail from the other direction suddenly there were fresh moose tracks walking toward me as I made my return pass along the same trail. My head swivelling increased in frequency despite my physical limitations. I decided that I need to install a rearview mirror on my riding lawn mower because I am no Linda Blair. The fresh moose prints and odd stick snapping in the woods continued throughout the day putting my nerves on edge. But the best was yet to come...
As supper hour approached I was clearing fallen trees from my last trail. It was a tricky situation to chainsaw as there were three leaners each resting upon each other. I fired up the chainsaw and got to work. Half way through the second tree I suddenly smelled a very strong poo smell. With the chainsaw idling so I could leap into action with it if needed, I scanned the woods all around me half expecting to see a bear. Bears stink! You can usually smell them coming. I couldn't see anything anywhere and the poo smell seemed to be wafting away so I threw that chainsaw into action again and finished cutting up the trees. With that done I loaded the chainsaw into my wagon and carried on with the lawn mower cutting my first pass on that trail. Coming to the end of the trail I circled around and started on my return trip along the trail. I had not gone far when I came upon the fresh moose tracks again and they were walking toward me again and then in the midst of the tracks there was a big pile of steaming fresh moose poo.
I have decided that the moose must have been standing close by as I cut up the last of the downed trees and that the moose must have let out an enormous fart in my general direction at that time. Then it proceeded to follow me along the trail when I left on the riding lawn mower and its fart progressed into something even bigger which it deposited on the trail as I came back on my return trip.
I will confess that it is a little off putting to be followed by a moose as I clear the trails. If only I had a rearview mirror then I would be able to see what is behind me as I cut the trails. Then again if I were to look into a rearview mirror to see a moose staring back at me, I would most definitely do more than just fart....
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| Oh poo.... |
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