How to Be An Albertan

Woo Hoooo! Yippee Kay Yay! [cartwheel across kitchen floor] I'm the Man, I'm the Man, I'm the Man, Yes I am, Yes I am Yes I am [singing with gender confusion] I did it! I did it! I did it! [moonwalking through living room] YES YES YES Someone get in here and high five me now [Daisy obliges] Wooo Wooo Wooo! [triple backflip followed by a round off...ok maybe not] I got my kids to school!!!I AM AN ALBERTAN!!!! [doing the chicken dance which is just awkward for everyone]

Yes there has been another lesson learned out here in the west by this transplanted Ontarian.  You see in Ontario when buses are cancelled we rejoice for different reasons. It means a day away from the world. It is an excuse to just relax, cancel everything else and enjoy this unexpected freebie that has just landed in your lap. You now have an excuse for everything!  I can't come to work because if the buses can't make it neither can I.  Nope no groceries today.  We will hunt and gather what we can find in the house because if the buses can't make it I certainly cannot get to the grocery store. No extracurricular, no alarms, no timings....the list goes on.  I have even heard from some of my teacher friends that even though they have to make their way to school, it is still a day off of sorts.  No kids! Time to plan, reorganize, catch up. It is a freebie. So last night when that oh so rare call came that buses were cancelled, my first reaction was utter shock.  They don't cancel buses out here typically.  Instead they put these massive snow tires on the buses so they can traverse high alpine meadows and scree and mountain passes....or so it seems. Then they cultivate this breed of bus driver that is reminiscent of Arnold Schwarzenegger as Terminator.  They just don't stop!  The bus drivers out here deny it but I am sure there is a school out here for them high high up in the mountains.  Children are watched closely and if they exhibit signs of bus driverness at an early age they are whisked off to this school where they can continue to hone their skills of always maintaining highway speeds no matter what the conditions. Driving nonchalantly through driving snow, freezing rain and blinding fog along narrow roads with hairpin turns and steep grades with nary a second look while maintaining an even -10 degree temp at all times within the bus.  I stare at them in awe.  I bow down in the streets when I meet one of these rare beasts. So the call comes in....buses are cancelled.  I know it must be an apocalyptic event!  I grab my freebie with both hands.

An hour later as I soak in my bubble filled tub with rose petals strewn across the waters, I hear a soft knock upon the bathroom door.  "Ummm Mom?" says this little voice "Ummmmm...." it wavers. "My friends are all going to school"
"They just haven't gotten their call yet", I assure my child.  "We must have been the first to get it" I explain totally forgetting it was actually an automated call.
"They got the call", she answers me. "They all seem to be very energetic all of a sudden"

Slowly I come out of my reverie of 'freebie day' realizing that I may perhaps not understand the situation.  With some confusion, I leave my bubbles behind to try to tease out the meaning of bus cancellations in Alberta.  I start with a tweet to the school..."buses are cancelled" I inform them (as though they would not know). "Are exams deferred?" I ask. Expecting an immediate response, I wait and wait and wait until finally an equally confused response comes back. "Ummm...no. But if you really feel it is not safe for your child to come to school then her course mark will be the one that she has now"  I feel a little uneasy....I wish for my bubbles and rose petals....
"How is your mark right now?", I ask the child.
"Good", she responds
"Are you happy with it?" I follow up
"Oh yes very happy" she responds
"Ok then. They said that will be your mark. We will stay put".  It feels settled except for that little nagging going on in the back of my brain.  I feel like I have missed a very important cue out here on how to be an Albertan.
After a few more beeps and buzzes from her phone, my daughter helps me to get there.
"My friends seem to all be very busy putting together emergency provisions, prepping their vehicles, charging their phones and laying on extra supplies" she tells me.

And then it comes to me.  The cancellation of buses in Alberta is not a freebie.  It is a challenge.  A gauntlet thrown down by those giants of bus drivers to us mere mortals. We have said we cannot do it, they tell us.  Can you?  Can you even come close? And I am right.  Parents all over the county are rising to the challenge.  They are burning the midnight oil checking their vehicles over to make sure they are in fine running condition, loading winches and cables and chains into the back.  Throwing in extra clothes, boots, and food for the merry time they will all have in the ditches if they fail the challenge.
I lay awake all night alternating between a reasonable response to this bus cancellaton (freebie!) and an instinctual reaction to this gauntlet in the ground at my feet.

So in the morning hours, probably due to lack of sleep, I insanely rise to the challenge. After crawling down our icy forest path and clinging to the bumper as we inched around the truck to get to our doors, we make it into our vehicle. In 4 wheel drive, I put the truck in gear and it immediately goes sideways as it slides down a hill in our yard.  I narrow my eyes.  This is going to be a tough challenge. Onto four wheel drive low and we inched our way back up the hill and out the lane....and yes we made it!!!

The dance continues in the kitchen. Oh Yes! Oh Yes! Oh Yes!  I am King...King of the Hill! Daisy has now joined me in my joyous leaps about the house but probably more because she has found a bag of chocolate covered coffee beans.  I made it! I made it! Oh yes yes yes I did! [performing an odd hula hoop move with Daisy around my middle] No shame here! No shame here! [shouting at Daisy with great enthusiasm]....and then I am brought up short as I smack into the wall of realization that I have to go back to that school to get the kids. Yep didn't think of that..."Daisy", I say quite suddenly deflated, "Could you direct me to those chocolate covered coffee beans?"

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